


The Problem With Joji

by Char7



Category: Black Sails
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack Fic, Gen, Humor, Nonsense, not beta'ed, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-09
Updated: 2016-03-09
Packaged: 2018-05-25 15:19:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6200302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Char7/pseuds/Char7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Billy's biggest issue with Joji. Set in early season 1.</p>
<p>Pure crack fic, attempt at humor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Problem With Joji

The problem with Joji was that he talked too much.

No one believed Billy when he said that. He didn’t blame them. He wouldn’t have believed it himself once. There had been a time he wondered if Joji even could speak.

Joji had been with the crew for six weeks before Billy heard him say his first word. And even then it was just a muttered curse after he accidentally hit his thumb with a mallet while repairing a yardarm.

Billy admired Joji. They all did. He was a fine sailor and incomparable with a sword. Every one wanted him by their side when taking a prize. But he wasn’t known for his conversation skills.

It was Gates who’d first paired them on a night watch together.

“I know Singleton was supposed to take this one,” Gates sighed, “but he’s refusing to stand anymore watches with Joji. Something about talking.”

“Singleton‘s a lazy shit anyhow,” Billy responded, agreeing to the new arrangement.

It had been a brutally hot night. A storm brewed to the south of them, lightening highlighted the night clouds every so often. The humidity made Billy’s shirt stick to him with sweat. He’d tried to peel it off and sighed wistfully to Joji, “What I wouldn’t give for a cold ale from the Guthrie’s tavern right now.”

Joji had only grunted in reply. That had been the sum of their interaction that first night’s watch. The second night had seen even worse humidity. Billy had greedily drank from his canteen of water and then offered it to Joji.

“Port Royal,” Joji stated after taking a gulp. “A place there has better ale than the Guthrie’s.”

“Really?” he’d replied. “Next time we make port, take me there. I’ll buy us both a pint.”

That had been the sum of their second night’s interaction.

But the promise had stood and he‘d made good on it. The next time they were in Port Royal, Billy had bought them both a pint. It wasn’t better than the ale at the Guthrie’s tavern but Billy hadn’t complained. It was cold and refreshing and they’d drank in comfortable silence.

On their sixth watch together, Joji had started talking. And he hadn’t stopped since. But only to Billy, it would seem. The man barely spoke to anyone. But to Billy Bones, he never seemed to shut up.

It had started with a conversation about needing new boots. Then it had gone on to a shoemaker’s wife Joji once fancied. Then somehow it became about biscuits. Then net fishing. Then horse training. And on and on and on.. Billy was sure he knew everything about Joji now from his shirt size to his lucky number and why.

He’d started trying to avoid him, but somehow Joji always found him. He cornered him on the ship. Followed him into taverns at port. Traded watches so they‘d be together. “Did I tell you about my cousin . . .” “I remember the time . . .” “Have you heard . . .” “Did you try . . .” “Did you know that . . .” “Once I was . . .”

The conversations were always one-side because he never allowed Billy a moment to speak. The talking was non-stop, never-ending. It felt like Hell. Yes, Billy was sure this was his Hell. He longed for moments of quiet. To have one watch where he didn’t hear about Joji’s latest romp with Idelle. Or how to make a proper rice and fish dish. Which vendor in Nassau had the better quality shirt and why. About Joji’s grandmother’s first cousin whose foot had rotted off.

Billy had pleaded with Gates to switch his watch. “He talks too fucking him!” he’d declared at his wits end.

Gates had laughed. Thrown his head back and roared with it. “Oh, son, you do have a sense of humor in there, don’t you.” Gates had walked off chuckling. Joji had stood off to the side and openly smirked at Billy. He was doing it on purpose, Billy concluded. Doing it just to drive him insane.

So he had taken it without further word. He’d stood every watch with Joji, listened to every word. And waited . . . Waited for his moment. Waited to turn the tables.

With a beaming smile on his face, Billy steered the newest recruit in Joji’s direction and came to a stop before him. “I want you to meet our new crew member, John Silver. Mr. Silver, this is Joji. You two will be standing watch together from now on.”

Billy slapped Silver on the back before he walked off, unable to stop smiling. He took a deep breath of the fresh air, smelled the sea. And just listened. Listened and enjoyed the sound of blissful silence.

**Author's Note:**

> This attempt at humor was inspired by a conversation with a friend about Joji needing dialogue that then turned into a joke about how he secretly talked non-stop but only to one person. Hope you enjoyed. 
> 
> Find me on Tumblr at -- http://char7.tumblr.com/


End file.
